Old Bones

2011 06 27

June 27

Vad has been kidnapped by Von Laserstein. We are standing in the middle of a group of recently dead minions and their guts. We decide to head toward the Raven Queen’s castle. Jovalene notices that the dead minions didn’t originate here. They were dragged here from elsewhere, apparently eating each other and bleeding all over the place the entire time.
[The rest of the encounter didn’t get logged because the computer got wet.]

2011 06 20
Von Laserstein, gross minions

June 20

We have rescued the damsels in distress. We try to decide what to do with Damspot the vampire. “We could bring him with us.” “Well he eats people.” “Oh, yeah we should probably just murder this guy.” “Well we could wait ’til he gets hungry, THEN kill him.” We decide to use him as a meat shield then bring him to the Raven Queen to be judged.

We go back to town. Damspot leads us through the swamp. We return the damsels. Frizzle is in disguise so the stable guy doesn’t molest her. We go to a hotel which has a creaky wooden sign with something ominous written on it, and eat hearty stew. A bar brawl will probably happen later.

Extended rest

Jovalene has Metallica Wolf and Man type dreams. Out in the forests I run and kill.

We leave town and head out in the direction the vampires were following before, ie NE. After three hours the road turns to swamp again. After we reach the foothills, Jovalene, Dashwood, and Skull hear Metallica-esque guitar music. Skull freaks the fuck out and insists we leave. She tells a story about an immortal guy with turtle minions. “Wait, you mean Von Laserstein?” Vad flips out a little. “REVENGE.”

Frizzle tries to learn to play the song we’re hearing on a penny whistle Damspot happens to have. Dashwood tries to get a mental lock on a nearby group of people and sees people eating each other. Like people eating other people while those people are eating them.

Vad shouts at the sky trying to get Von Laserstein to appear. Frizzle says wistfully “If only Bruce were here…” Skull says “I will punch you directly in the vagina.” We keep walking and the music gets louder. We approach the sound of moaning gets louder. We see a whole bunch of people eating each other and regenerating. There’s a dude floating and playing the guitar, and encouraging the eating and regenerating.

Frizzle shoots Von Laserstein and all the minions get mad. They are unphased by being hit with cold. Von Laserstein stuns and immobilizes everyone. Frizzle pushes minions away. Jovalene teleports Von Laserstein away from his minions. Vad gets grabbed. Dashwood switches places with him by teleporting and it’s awesome. Frizzle almost dies but Jovalene teleports the attacker and makes him attack someone else. Frizzle makes a storm wall that kills lots of minions and crits against Von Laserstein and does 75 damage. Von Laserstein turns Vad and Dashwood into a fine mist. They try to high five and go through each other. Frizzle picks off minions like a mofo. She then tries to die but Jovalene gives her a shot of adrenaline so she doesn’t fall unconscious. Jovalene teleports Von Laserstein far away so he can’t heal his minions.

Von Laserstein grabs Vad, teleports up, flies higher, reveals Vad’s hand from under his shirt, licks it, says to the group “We’ll see each other soon” and flies off. We hear a crack and Vad drops his sword. Von Laserstein carries Vad away.

4900 exp each

2011 05 23
Bad actors, vampires, werewolves

May 23

We’re walking through the swamp. Occasionally there are dry patches where we dry off and get more comfortable before we trudge off into more wet swamp again. After a long day of traveling it gets darker, making it more dangerous to carry on. We decide to hangout where we are. Everyone goes to sleep except Jovalene and Skull who meditate while keeping their ears open. Skull notices fluttering wings and then a strange hush come over the swamp. Jovalene notices something seeming to get closer to the camp and then seeming to leave.

Everyone wakes up after successfully getting a good night’s sleep. We get into an argument about which direction to travel. Vad starts walking along a trail and everyone starts following him. At about 1pm we find a village with a wall around it and a gate. Vad asks the guard if we can come in. He says we have to leave our weapons behind. Dashwood says we’re the exterminators here to deal with their problem. He lets us in with our weapons and tells us about the vampires that are snatching up the young ladies, and to talk to May about it. We decide to go for it, as there could be a reward, and the raven queen might like us getting rid of undead things.

We knock on May’s door and hear sobbing. We go in and May, an old woman, starts screaming at us to get out. We ask for information about the vampires, and she says they’re not proper vampires. “Vampires I understand. They’re terrifying. These, I don’t even know what to call ’em. Bad actors at any rate. Thieving gypsy bastards. Who are you anyway. Did the mayor send you?”


She tells us we can get some horses at the stable. He gives us 5 horses in exchange for a promise of a “ride” with Frizzle afterward. We see some fairly fresh wagon trails and follow them. We catch up with the caravan. There are people out in the daylight, not sparkling, and it’s not mostly women.

“Have you seen the women from that town back there?”

“Yes I have,” says a well dressed bad actor, “I’ve seen alll of them. Back in the town”

“Have you heard anything about vampires? We heard a rumour that there were vampires snatching up the ladies in the town.”

They explain that they put on a play called VAMPIRES! but that they’re not real vampires, and that we shouldn’t go spreading rumours. We decide to travel with them so we can snoop on them. We find lots of gold and weak magic weapons, and some of them appear to be hiding something. At nightfall, the caravan stops and they build a fire and hang out.

Dashwood overhears a guy having a secret conversation in the dark with a guy in a robe, about how our party can’t be trusted and how we probably suspect that the caravan group has something to do with the disappearances. Dashwood follows robe guy out into the swamp away from the camp. He comes to tell us where the guy went.

We try to leave the camp by way of a failed orgy ruse and also a Chinese buffet ruse. Eventually all five of us manage to get away from the camp. We get to six people sitting around a fire. One of them sparkles in the firelight. None of the people are human.

Dashwood flounces in as bait but they tell him to go away. They have a super awkward conversation during which Dashwood says all the wrong things, and Skull stumbles in to save him. Sparkly guy says she’s magnificent, and she finds herself gazing into his dark, brooding, mysterious eyes. He says “Stay with me.” It’s super creepy. Vad attacks another one of the vampires.

Yay, we start fighting. Frizzle knocks most of the vampires unconscious. We beat up Edward, the leader, until he turns to mist and runs away. We beat up and question the remaining conscious vampires. They have no idea what happened to the missing girls. We decide to add the main one to our party. His name is Damspot. We loot Edward’s stuff. He has two astral diamonds.

We head back to town. Damspot buys a big box to sleep in. He starts leading us West following the scent of women. After 2 days he says he smells wolves and blood and viscera. We find a camp. It has a wagon with bars on the windows and there are hands grasping the bars. There are people hanging around who don’t move like normal people. They’re probably werewolves. They’re totally cooking people. We decide to murder them.

Vad gets noticed first and the werewolves attack him. We battle the werewolves, which attack by biting and clubbing us. Vad does over 100 damage in a single turn (not on his turn). Jacob, the shirtless werewolf leader, enters the battle and heals the other werewolves. Frizzle does blasts and bursts all over the place and dazes and blinds everyone. Dashwood heals everyone. Especially Jovalene.

Jovalene teleports a werewolf that was going to crit on Frizzle and makes him attack Jacob instead. Frizzle gets knocked out but Skull gives her a potion. Vad kills Jacob. The werewolves that can run away, and Vad and Jovalene kill two before they can get away.

We rescue the damsels in distress. We don’t find all of them, because some of them were eaten.

4480 exp


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